Reality: What A Concept

It must be really hard for a conscientious TV programmer to come up with the next bright idea, one that blends the poignancy of the human condition with the piquancy of zero-cost production value.

I’m here to help. Here are my ideas for shows that haven’t been tried yet. Nope. Nothing like them that I’ve ever seen. Most of these you could shoot with your iPhone and air by the end of the workday. All you need are maybe two college interns that come with their own cars and petty cash.

Paul's List of Bona Fide Blockbusters:

All America is Lip-Syncing

Dust Bunny Hunters

Wait, I’m Going To Cry Any Second Now

Real Morticians of Reno

Top Grocery Clerk

Extreme Leisure Addicts

Polka Planet
Fridge Contents Gone Bad

Returns Desk Altercations

Out Of Control Quadriplegics

Jigsaw Puzzle Wars

Mom Is A Cheese-aholic

Thirty Minutes To Waste

Survivor: Akron

Guy Versus Another Guy

Look Who Plays The Kazoo!

Race For Last

Myth Believers

Pimp My Chest Of Drawers

Fattest Man Standing

World’s Most Monotonous Jobs

Laid-Off Lumberjacks

Battle of the Network Has-Beens

Junk Food Chef

Outdated Records Elimination

Undercover Amnesiacs

Library Detective Stories

This Old Condemned Rattrap

Useless Garbage Road Show

Picnic Mayhem

Reptile and Amphibian Whisperer

Celebrity Napping

Skip That Challenge

Emergency Locksmiths

Bad Weather Avoiders
Really Crappy Mechanics

Parking Lot Sagas

Some Couple With No Kids

Following Eric Estrada Around

That’s A Woman’s Job

Tool Shed Tinkerer

Obscure Historical Accidents That Turned Out Okay

Caught On Security Cam Minding Their Own Business

My nod for celebrity judges for any show that needed them would be that stutterer from Iron Chef, the ghost of Farrah Faucett Majors channeled through John Edward wearing the orange swimsuit, and needless to say, anyone who's fabulously gay.