Saturday, December 10, 2016

Friends


At my wife’s behest, I removed from my Facebook wall what I considered to be a witty, incisive political cartoon that one of my newly minted “friends” considered offensive. This is a person from my past who less than a month earlier had solicited friendship, chose to visit my wall and post her critique of my choice of artwork. It once again calls into question my decision to revisit the social platform.

The word used by said offendee to describe the artwork was “disgusting,” though she did choose to temper her assessment by afterword employing the quasi-apologetic, “Sorry”. Well okay then.

Dear Facebook Friend,

What you refer to as disgusting is generally referred to as political satire, and it happens to have been published in a nationally syndicated newspaper thanks to the protections our First Amendment presently guarantees.  The First Amendment is the amendment that comes right before the one everybody (which is to say Ted Nugent, that bearded duck-calling family, and the rarefied group busying themselves with the stacking of Spam and ammo in their root cellars) seems most concerned about.

I will, however, tell you what I myself do find disgusting. That a morally vacant carnival barker, a modern day snake oil salesman, a tax-dodging (and war-dodging, but who’s monitoring?), race-baiting faux philanthropist, a pathologically lying peeping Tom, a tangerine-tinted clown unqualified to preside over a Chuck E. Cheese kiddy soiree managed to con a significant minority of the American public into casting their votes for him. So an imbecile will now inhabit the White House thanks to an archaic scheme devised by our founding slave owners to ensure that "real Americans" out there in God's country receive favored representation. 

That is what I find disgusting. Sorry.

The man, of course, was not chosen by the people. Even he, in a rare fit of cogency, was convinced he would lose his biggest takeover attempt ever, and so he droned on ad infinitum over how “the system” was rigged, all the while exploiting galaxies of free ad space with which to pitch his private brand.

Rigged. There’s the one thing the moron and I agree on. More accurately, the election was gamed, so it seems fitting that a robber barron whose signature contribution to American society has been the erecting of casinos now profits from the gaming.

He employed the most shameless of allies, “surrogates” (can we petition the OED to have the term waterboarded to death please?) of all denominations, from voracious ladder-climbers chosen for their tenacious debate skills, amoral proclivities, and tits, to the desperate irrelevance-avoiders (let’s give them superhuman names: Lispor and BridgeBlock). Then there’s Kelly Anne. Beelzebub is preparing a special room for this broad.

We now hear chants of “give the man a chance.” Seriously? For the past near decade and beyond the Republican party to a man (having failed to derail their presumptive standard-bearer, the starving supplicants are presently cued up and down 5th Avenue groveling for a Fed cubicle) has proclaimed as their raison d’etre the obstruction of a legitimate president’s attempts to govern. The hell if I give the spray-painted simian a chance to fling his feces.  As far as I’m concerned, a domestic terrorist will shortly be holed up in the West Wing. I say ship him to Guantanamo and test on him the efficacy of the techniques that got him so wet on his soapbox.

Who are these characters railing for this chance? With what bizarre amalgam of noozefeeds and internal voices is their personal worldview Crayola'd? Troubled patriot, if you’ve ever had the blinkered gall to spout the “Benghazi” epithet, learn how to count bodies. Get all lathered up over leaked emails, do you? Tell it to your porn purveyor. Spousal infidelity gets your knickers in a twist? Allow Newt, Rudy, and Don the Con himself to explicate the sanctity of the marriage contract. 

You bought into Ms. Conway's "substantive" bob-and-weave, did you? Tell you what you do: Crack open that piggy bank next to your Star Wars action figure collection. Check behind the couch, under the car seats, rummage amongst the dust bunnies for loose change... then go buy yourself a fucking life.


How does a sane citizen describe the symphony of lies spat from a Riefenstahlian propaganda machine and trumpeted by a bogus press that includes our precious Facebook feed? Or the willful ignorance of those who feast on the garbage like cattle at the trough? What’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, yeah. Deplorable.